Not thin enough.
Not rich enough.
Not pretty enough.
Not strong enough.
Not successful enough.
Not happy enough.
Just not enough.
A sure fire way to a not enough life.
A sure fire way to go get the big ass job that pays the big bucks because that might make you feel enough. The big ass job that fills you with anxiety and has you working from the early hours til way past dark. The big ass job that has you chained to the office because you need it right? The big ass job that is slowly killing your soul.
A sure fire way to a relationship that is scarce. In all aspects. Instead of making you feel joy, love and like your heart is jumping out your chest, you fight, you struggle, you feel disgusting, you feel hate. No love for them. No love for you.
A sure fire way to treat your body with hate and despair. Using food as torture. Using exercise to beat yourself up and deprive yourself of energy. One more binge. One more session. One more step on the scales and surely then you’ll be thin enough. Beautiful enough.
A sure fire way to life half a life. Disengaged from life and relationships. Shut away from the outside world. Sitting in traffic for three hours a day. A slave to the screen. A slave to the gym. A slave to the scales. A slave to the inner critic. Too scared to leave the job because where's the money going to come from? Too scared to be you, because what if you're rejected for just being you?
A not enough life.
When I stopped looking for stuff to complete me. To make me enough. To fulfil me. Stopped looking outside of me for validation and for the answers and started to looked inside of me. Deciding to choose myself. Choose freedom. Choose choice. Choose to trust myself.
I realised all along I was enough.
No longer a scarce mind.
Just grateful for all I have.
All of it enough. All of me enough.
Then along came
A life worth living.